Sam's Sweet Birthday
by FourHourShower
Summary: It's Sam's Birthday! To celebrate, Cat showers her friend with awesome little surprises. Playfully Cute Day-In-The-Life of Puckentine.
1. Chapter 1

Sam Puckett slowly begins to stir in her bed from her restful sleep. She rolls onto her back, eyes closed, stretching out underneath her Union Jack blanket.

CAT'S VOICE (quietly): "aheh..."

Sam rolls over again, eyes closed, this time pulling the blanket up higher towards her head as she curls up into a warm little ball. She feels something is pressing in close into her body. It feels so nice, warm, petite and cuddly. She pulls it in closer, rolls half on top of it, hugging it comfortably in her arms, and wrapping her leg around it. A peaceful smile appears on Sam's face.

CAT'S VOICE (quietly): "AHEH."

Sam sleepily squeezes her thighs around it a little more firmly, enjoying the feeling of it pressing against her pajama pants. Sam absentmindedly rubs her lips and cheek gently against the soft, silky hair and warm fleshy face of her new comfort object.

SAM (sleepily): "mmmmm... Mama likes to cuddle."

Cat's voice snorts quietly, suppressing a laugh.

Sam opens her eyes. She awkwardly tucks her chin in to see what the hell she's been holding in her arms. Cat Valentine, still dressed in her pink pajamas, had snuck into Sam's bed while Sam was asleep. Now Cat is snuggled up in Sam's arms. Her little smiling eyes peek up at Sam from the pillow.

CAT: " Happy birthday, Sam!"

SAM: "Uhh... what are you doing in my bed?"

CAT: "I think the _real_ question is, why are _you_ trying to make love to me."

SAM: "...well... my bed, my rules."

Sam rolls on top of her roommate, straddling her body, pinning her down by the wrists. She grabs Cat's tiny hands and starts to playfully smack Cat's face with her own hands.

SAM: "Stop slapping yourself. Stop slapping yourself."

CAT: "MMM.. SAM! STOP!"

Sam laughs playfully, letting go of her roommate and begins to climb out of bed.

CAT: "So... 'Mama likes to _cuddle'? Really?"_

SAM: "...I was _SLEEP TALKING!_ "

CAT: "Suuuure you were."

SAM: "Haven't you ever heard of the shadow self? Carl Jung? The unconscious?"

CAT: "Sure. I've been to unconscious _lots_ of times."

SAM: "Well, keep sneaking into my bed and you'll be there again soon enough."

CAT: "Hmm... me, unconscious,... on Sam Buca's bed. Wouldn't _you_ like that."

Sam, picking out her clothes from her closet, looks back at Cat with a confused look. "Huh?"

Cat mockingly, playfully, pretends to faint on Sam's bed.

CAT (playfully): "Oh... I've fainted! Oh no! I sure hope Sam doesn't try any funny business with me while I'm in unconscious!"

Cat peeks an eye open to look at Sam, and then closes her eye again.

SAM (shaking her head): "...so weird."

CAT: (angrily, eyes still closed) "DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!"

Sam leaves a fresh t-shirt, her denim short-shorts, her semi-opaque black tights, a bra and some p... p... _panties_ on her bed. She grabs a couple of towels from her closet.

SAM: "Well, I'm gonna take a shower. _And_ a wazz."

CAT: "A shwazz?"

SAM: "Haah...You know, we should look that word up in the Oxnard Dictionary later."

Cat snickers.

SAM: (curiously) "... _What?"_

CAT: " Can you imagine, a guy, named, Dick _Shanary_."

Sam laughs her way into the bathroom. She shuts the door behind her.

Cat has some time alone now, so she springs into action. She grabs a little folded note out of her dresser drawer, and hides it in the pocket of Sam's denim short-shorts. Phase one of her birthday surprise plan for Sam is underway.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam steps out of the bathroom wearing a towel around her body and another towel around her wet hair. Cat pretends to organize her dresser drawers.

SAM: "There. I'm done with my shower. _And_ my wazz."

CAT: "Not at the same _time,_ I hope!"

Sam makes a _'who knows'_ face with her lips and a shrug of her shoulders.

Cat shakes her head with a disappointed face and walks out of the bedroom.

Sam starts to get dressed for the day. Looking inside her black tights, Sam finds a little folded note. Curious, she opens it and reads it out loud.

SAM (reading): " _To Sam, From your Secret Admirer, Happy Birthday. There's a surprise waiting for you in your shorts_. (Thinking aloud) ... Hmm... it better not be _hot sauce_."

Sam then picks up her denim short-shorts. She starts fumbling with them looking for the supposed surprise. Inside the front pocket, she finds another little folded note.

SAM (reading): " _To Sam, From your Secret Admirer, Happy Birthday. There's a surprise waiting for you in the kitchen._ (Thinking aloud) ... _Now_ I hope it's hot sauce."

Sam puts on her shorts. But as she tries to pull up the front zipper, it gets stuck half way up. Sam struggles with the tiny zipper, tugging at it and even jumping up and down while trying to get it moving again. "Come ON! Zip UP!"

Sam, all hot and bothered, quickly storms into the living room angrily. She finds Cat in the kitchen, happily cooking up some breakfast while humming the melody to "Take Me Down to the Basement."

SAM: "Cat! My fly is stuck!"

CAT: "Then open a window."

SAM: "NO! My zippper on my shorts won't budge! What do I do?"

CAT (turns off the stove top): "Let me help you."

Cat walks towards Sam and calmly kneels down in front of her roomate. Cat tries tugging at the stuck zipper. Sam's pelvis kind of jerks towards Cat's face each time Cat tugs at the zipper. It's not budging.

CAT: "Why do they call it a 'fly' anyway?"

SAM: "Because... it makes you 'fly' off the handle when it gets stuck! Heh heh... get it?... 'fly off the...' (awkwardly)...no? _nothing?"_

Cat looks up at Sam, and just shakes her head with a slightly disgusted look on her face. Cat returns her focus to Sam's short shorts.

CAT: "SamBuca con la mosca."

SAM: "Careful now, it's my birthday. Don't give me any ideas."

Cat looks up and winks at Sam.

Cat's finally able to get Sam's zipper unstuck, and slides it all the way up.

CAT: "There. Now you won't get arrested when you go to the park."

SAM: "Thanks Cat."

Sam sniffs the air and smells something delicious. She cranes her neck and looks towards the kitchen.

SAM: "So, wasn't there something about some secret surprise waiting for me in the kitchen?"

CAT: "Yep. Have a seat there and it'll be ready in a minute."

SAM: "That actually smells really delicious. What are you whipping up for us?"

CAT: "Just a little Belt-Burstin' Birthday Breakfast for my favorite roommate."

Cat empties what's been cooking on the pans on to two plates. She brings both plates to the kitchen island where Sam is sitting.

CAT: "Pancakes with bacon, with a Buttery vegetable stir-fry and a Spicy Hot Sauce Om-MLETTE."

Sam's eyes widen at the sight of the food. "That actually looks really, really good. I've actually got a little hankerin' for some hot sauce right about now."

CAT: "Dig in, mama."

Sam laughs as she cuts in to her omlette.

CAT: "How is your Om-MLETTE?"

Sam chokes up a bit. "Nice and spicy."

CAT: "Nice and spicy, huh? Just the way you _like it, huh?"_

Sam happily stuffs in a mouthful of pancake and bacon, chewing with her mouth closed. Her eyes roll around in her head while she breathes through her nose. She makes a happy groaning sound through her mouthful of food.

SAM: "Cot, (talking with her mouth full). Thus us on bull lovable."

CAT: (quietly) "You ain't seen nothin' yet, bijon."

* * *

After breakfast, Sam is sitting back on the couch, feeling full, her hands on her tummy, looking very satisfied.

SAM: "You sure know the way to a woman's heart."

CAT: "Through saturated fat?"

SAM: "Exactly."

Now that Sam is satiated and in a good mood, Cat reveals her next surprise. She lifts a small pink giftbag that was hidden behind the couch, and presents it to Sam.

CAT: "For you, my friend, business partner, and occasional lover."

Sam looks incredulously at Cat. "More? For _me?"_

CAT (smiling): "Yep! Happy Birthday Sam!"

Sam, looking mischievously at her roommate, pulls out the colorful tissue paper out of the gift bag, and reaches inside. She pulls out a pair of black wooden nunchucks.

SAM: "NUNCHAKU! WHOA! You got me NUNCHUCKS?! Ho man, these are SWEET! ... (Reading a little certificate of authenticity attached to it) They're even from a genuine Okinawan kobudō dojo in Japan. Awesome..."

CAT: "You likey?"

SAM: "I LOVEY! _Thank_ you! How did you get these?"

CAT: "Well, I came up with the idea once I noticed you liked dangerous weapons and violent kung fu movies. Thankfully, Dice and Goomer knew some people. They really helped me get a hold of these Nachos."

SAM: "Nunchucks."

CAT: "Nunchucks."

SAM: "... you are so _awesome._ Thanks, Cat."

Sam opens her arms for a hug.

CAT: "I thought you said you weren't a hugger?"

Sam lunges over towards Cat and gives her a big hug anyway.

SAM: "I say a _lot_ of things." Cat, her chin resting on Sam's shoulder, has a satisfied look on her face.

Cat gently pats Sam on the back. Sam burps.

SAM: (a little embarrased) "Sorry..."

CAT: "But Sam, listen to me. Dice insisted that I warn you, that these things are technically illegal. So, Sam? ... _Saaaammmm?_ (Sam looks into Cat's eyes looking serious) Just promise me you won't break anything or hurt anybody with them. Or if you _do_... don't tell me about it."

SAM: "Got it. You've never even _seen_ them before. You never even knew I _had_ these. I _promise."_

CAT: "Good."

SAM: "These nunchucks will make a great showpiece. They'll look great in our room!"

Sam runs to the bedroom with the nunchucks in hand. Cat immediately hears a loud glassy crash. Sam pokes her head out the door-

SAM: "That was something _else!_ "


End file.
